New song, "The Queen Of New York"
In February 2025, the first attempt at mastering my debut album was taking place. It wasn't going well and I was pretty down. During this time I read a news report announcing the death of a young actress, Michelle Trachtenberg. I knew the name, but didn't really know anything about her. Perhaps it was how I was feeling at the time, but her story seemed to strike a nerve with me. I saw the photos of her towards the end of her life that were appearing in the news and online. She appeared thin and gaunt. Reports stated that she had struggled emotionally and physically during the last few years of her life, particularly the final 12 months. She was just 39. Her story had a profound effect on me. It's extremely distressing to witness someone who appears to be suffering.
I went down a rabbit hole. I looked through her instagram posts, but avoided reading the comments, some of which sadly seemed to cause her a great deal of upset. I'm sure some of those comments were genuine expressions of concern from fans who cared about her. Her own lead comments on those posts portrayed a strong, brave, positive individual who clearly wasn't seeking any pity. More reasons to greatly admire someone who was clearly loved by so many. I started watching her films and television shows, which perhaps because I'm of an older generation had passed me by first time around. When Harriet The Spy was released I was busy devouring Scorsese, The Coen Brothers and others, so I missed out on these films and television shows when they were originally released. Now I'm a huge fan and have most of her work on dvd. She was a tremendously talented actress, and judging by her performances in the reboot of Gossip Girl, clearly had so much still to offer. I think she would have been a brilliant character actress later in life. I would love to have seen her acting in her 60s,70s, and 80s, where I think she would have been the anchor in every production she appeared in.
On 2 January 2026 I went to bed about midnight, but couldn't sleep. I kept on getting up in the middle of the night to write lyrics for a proposed "message of empathy" to Michelle. When I woke in the morning and looked at the lyrics I felt huge guilt. I had absolutely no right, however well intentioned, to write a song about someone I had never met or known. I still feel that guilt now. I hope anyone hearing this song who knew or was a fan of Michelle, will recognise the intent and place this song comes from. In no way is it meant to be intrusive. It is intended to be a message of empathy, compassion and solidarity.
Regarding the music, I had some rough ideas in my head (a synth piece with some piano lines). I earmarked 26 February 2026, the first anniversary of Michelle's passing, as the day I would dedicate to begin writing the music. I looked online and found a notebook with a unicorn on the cover to write notes specifically for this song. I spent the day writing much of the music. In the evening I ordered a pizza (my favourite meal, and I believe a favourite of Michelles) and rewatched Ice Princess.
For most, Michelle was part of their childhood/teen years, and someone they grew up with. I didn't discover her until much later, but she's become an important part of my life. Now, if I'm down, I'll often reach for Buffy, Ice Princess, Harriet, A Father's Choice, The Christmas Gift, or any of her many wonderful performances, and put a little bit of happiness back into my life. One of my favourite clips is the interview with Conan O'Brien discussing Harriet The Spy. Despite being a child star, there is no sense of ego or big headedness. She comes across as just a kind, grateful, happy and well grounded young person. One day, I hope we'll get to see one of her screenplays realised on the big screen. I would love to read some of her writing. For everyone who loves Michelle, please keep her legacy alive.
I hope you like this song.
Malcolm